Lele has disappeared. I can\\’t find her anywhere.<\/p>\n
Normally, that would sound like a joke to me. A joke that I would make on my blog. But it isn\\’t. She is one of my good friends. One of my really close friends. Someone I could easily slap with the label of \\”best friend\\” if I didn\\’t like the usage of labels.<\/p>\n
Because of grad school, I have become very busy in my own thing. Trying to deal with my life. My desire not to drink. Academics. Job. And so I haven\\’t kept in touch with Lele as much as I did several months ago. I was too caught up in my own life. I want to blame myself for not being around enough. Not being good enough. Not being the good friend I thought I was supposed to be.<\/p>\n
On October 31, she logged onto the msg board for the last time. At first I thought she was just busy. But then she didn\\’t answer my calls her phone. I left voicemail messages.<\/p>\n
And then I became anxious. What if she died? I checked the obituaries, thinking that I had missed something. I started thinking of how I would get to New York. Only 8-10 hours away. A short car ride…<\/p>\n
But then I noticed she just deleted her url, deleted her livejournal, deleted her friendster profile, and orkut profile. Most likely, she did that on purpose. A way to withdraw. And most likely, she is alive.<\/p>\n
But this was painful. Sort of losing a finger. But what could I do. I knew the reasons why she wanted to withdraw. Too much drama online, which I kept myself separated from. But the worry drew on me like a wet cloth.<\/p>\n
Was she ok? Did she need any helping hand? A voice to remind her that she was ok. And that she is still a great person in my eyes. One of the greatest people I have met? A twin I have always thought…but different enough…that it made it all ok.<\/p>\n
And we still have yet to meet in person. I am in the same time zone, but her being in another state…is still as far as being 4000 miles apart.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Lele has disappeared. I can\\’t find her anywhere. Normally, that would sound like a joke to me. A joke that I would make on my blog. But it isn\\’t. She is one of my good friends. One of my really close friends. Someone I could easily slap with the label of \\”best friend\\” if I … Continue reading don\\’t disappear on me now<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=137"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}