Suddenly today, I felt like all the guys I know in my life right now are UNDATEABLE. Almost all seem like annoying brothers. They have that smell to them that doesn\\’t attract me at all.<\/p>\n
Then I wonder, maybe they view me as the annoying sister? \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Justin maybe is the only one who hasn\\’t fallen into that category. Well not really. I am probably the weird sister to him though.<\/p>\n
Lately, I have been reminisciening of Crisco. Suddenly, it is smarting again. It was definitely not because of v-day, was it? As I listen to my music, the majority of which he gave me, I remembered how we had the same music tastes. And suddenly, there are moments that I could seem to be sharing with him. And yet, why can\\’t I remember when we had the awkward moments. He was the last person that I could remember…where I felt so happy and satisfied after talking. The kind of talk where you are breathless and slightly pink. Because you loved every single moment of it. I am still seeking that, but I can\\’t find it.<\/p>\n
I booked my tickets for CHI the other day. Because I am returning to the bay area before going up to Portland, I figured that I would drop in at the rescomp office again on that Friday. I planned that I would wear my hat. But then if I saw him…I would…say \\”Hello\\”. Something simple of course. But then right now…<\/p>\n
I just don\\’t know what to do. It is painful. I still like him even though we don\\’t talk anymore. And I got mad at him and I thought I lost my respect for him. But I guess what was created can\\’t be undone. There hasn\\’t been many people that I could talk about random babble.<\/p>\n
But then wait. Didn\\’t I stop talking to him because he just didn\\’t talk anymore? He just had nothing to say? And when we talked on the phone, we didn\\’t say a lot and I found myself talking the entire time. What is wrong with me? I never thought it was that hard.<\/p>\n
People are always blinded when they\\’re in relationships. I am blinded because I thought I felt something. But I only felt what I believed I should feel. When are feelings ever real?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Suddenly today, I felt like all the guys I know in my life right now are UNDATEABLE. Almost all seem like annoying brothers. They have that smell to them that doesn\\’t attract me at all. Then I wonder, maybe they view me as the annoying sister? \ud83d\ude42 Justin maybe is the only one who hasn\\’t … Continue reading like a brother<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-180","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=180"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/180\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=180"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=180"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=180"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}