I can analyze everything to details. I would examine from multiple angles—trying in desperation in understand what, why, how.<\/p>\n
Questions of could I have seen it differently? What if I said something else? How would someone else in my shoes react?<\/p>\n
Yesterday, I stated bluntly as I drove up 17th street, \\”I have to admit that the gift got me thinking…and I suppose that is my question: What is the state of our relationship?<\/i>\\”<\/p>\n
He responded, \\”Why define it? Why analyze it?\\”<\/p>\n
I think that I may have laughed and decided to drop it. I could tell that it was awkward. But then I realized now that I put him on the spot. Nobody likes to show vulnerability—it\\’s more a question of who shows it first that is the vulnerable one. We adjust accordingly so that it doesn\\’t seem that way.<\/p>\n
At some point in the conversation, I said…I showed you my cards. Now you show me yours.<\/p>\n
In almost all cases like this, I have reread a lot of my journal entries—the truth, the rationale was always right there in front of me. I chose to ignore it most of the time. But as they say, hindsight is 20\/20. In this case, I am not sure what it is. Because I also feel magnetized toward him—but I resist so much because it\\’s unhealthy for me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I can analyze everything to details. I would examine from multiple angles—trying in desperation in understand what, why, how. Questions of could I have seen it differently? What if I said something else? How would someone else in my shoes react? Yesterday, I stated bluntly as I drove up 17th street, \\”I have to admit … Continue reading The truth was always in front of me<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=489"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}