I say that I should have planned it. But then I consider it, no matter if I had planned it, it probably would have ended up the same way. At least, I would have prepared for how unhappy I was feeling, sitting here on my bed—dejected, moody and more aware of how emotional that I can become.<\/p>\n
I don\\’t like these moments, because this means that I have to cower for awhile until the normal self comes back. I am teary. Every single moment recalls the weakness that I displayed and it sticks, oh it sticks.<\/p>\n
I want to flee, dig a deep hole…hide. But I don\\’t do that. I want fling myself far far away, but I know that\\’s almost a weakness. I don\\’t want to be perceived as being weak. Strength is a quality meant to be admired and that is supposed to be what I strive for.<\/p>\n
\\”Is there anything I can do?\\” he asked.<\/p>\n
I have heard that so many times. No, there isn\\’t.<\/i> Just don\\’t be.<\/p>\n
Maybe I do let things simmer too long, but how can I be aware how bothered I am. I pride myself on self-awareness, but in this case, did I not even know how aware I was about how bothered I was?<\/p>\n
So in this awkward situation, I stood there with my hands my hip trying not let tears fall as I stuttered through some innate explanation why I was upset. I hesitated in telling him the list, because I just didn\\’t have it on top of mind. Having been through bad arguments, there\\’s no point in detailing the small things.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I say that I should have planned it. But then I consider it, no matter if I had planned it, it probably would have ended up the same way. At least, I would have prepared for how unhappy I was feeling, sitting here on my bed—dejected, moody and more aware of how emotional that I … Continue reading Here is this year\\’s breakdown<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-496","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/496","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=496"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/496\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=496"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=496"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=496"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}