Written almost 5 years ago:<\/p>\n
reliable…a great sense of humor, adventurous (we snuck into pricey seats Tuesday) and very charismatic. He is educated about pop culture as well as the classical scene. Most importantly, he\\’s a great conversationalist. I admit that I also like him because he\\’s…well very popular with people (apparently, he doesn\\’t date that much but has had more girlfriends than I have had boyfriends). Oh and most of all, he has this geek side. It has bothered me for the last several years that I end up fixing computers for the guy because I am the more knowledgeable<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
And here I am 5 years later, is this the end?<\/p>\n
Now I know as much as he does. Now that I created a world here in San Francisco. A career even if the company is falling apart. I have my contacts that I only realized that I really achieved a solid base.<\/p>\n
My heart is torn. Shredded. But maybe when I look at the mirror, it really isn\\’t. It\\’s still strong—perhaps recovered for the next thing.<\/p>\n
I know that I feel guilty. I am burdened by it, because I don\\’t want him to bury himself in unhappiness. I just want him to be happy because I respect him too much. He deserves better than me.<\/p>\n
And yet, what if I am turning my back on something ? I distract myself so easily by the people that I surround myself with. I am entwined with emotions, unsure what to do next. I am 29 years old, but feel like I haven\\’t moved pass my teenage years. Sure, I am over the anxiety that pinned me for years, but emotionally, I look out with child\\’s eyes.<\/p>\n
Sitting in my room squeezed in a mess. Swirling, falling, deteriorating. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Written almost 5 years ago: reliable…a great sense of humor, adventurous (we snuck into pricey seats Tuesday) and very charismatic. He is educated about pop culture as well as the classical scene. Most importantly, he\\’s a great conversationalist. I admit that I also like him because he\\’s…well very popular with people (apparently, he doesn\\’t date … Continue reading Is this the end?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-501","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=501"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}