Here I am. Poetic. Lost. Unfound.<\/p>\n
I look at myself and feel guilt, shame, pitiful. I want to just rid myself of all the excesses and baggage. I want to fly elsewhere, start over. Without all this.<\/p>\n
I looked back at previous entries—I know that the past and the future is what all started all of this. That living in the present is what I had ignored. But there\\’s this moment of pain as I look back. Was it really just all the same? Was it that I captured the moments of sorrow and despair? Was it that I was so insecure?<\/p>\n
I am bumbling and bumbling. It feels like a knife is being inserted in me—being pulled in and out. It\\’s smarting. It\\’s hurting. But there\\’s this pleasure—masochism. It\\’s through this pain that I almost feel something.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Here I am. Poetic. Lost. Unfound. I look at myself and feel guilt, shame, pitiful. I want to just rid myself of all the excesses and baggage. I want to fly elsewhere, start over. Without all this. I looked back at previous entries—I know that the past and the future is what all started all … Continue reading Dropping back down on meI want t<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/509","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=509"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/509\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=509"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=509"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=509"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}