The time passed and I was stricken. Parked illegally near the Palo Alto Caltrain station, I was distressed. Unhappy. And when on the phone, I realized the miscommunication, the misreading of the email…a fury flew through me. It burned through my body and as I drove away from the station, I wanted to step the gas and run everything, run everyone down. I wanted to take out my anger on something.<\/p>\n
I am not sure why it mattered to me so much—whether it was because Chris went out of his way to get tickets and that I had planned for it in advance. That I carefully asked the right people. And then how yesterday, I suddenly had a vision that 5:30 really did not<\/i> mean 5:30. But I didn\\’t have the time to analyze and it ended up like this.<\/p>\n
On autopilot, I drove straight up to San Francisco to Metreon. Although I shouted that there was no parking, I was fretting the entire time. What to do. Chris wasn\\’t picking up, Chris wasn\\’t answering the text messages. I just wanted advice. I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. I was already on my way and I felt too helpless to make a decision on my own. I thought that yes, maybe I could make it. But then I was so trapped in stress that I only was able to communicate in fury—why wasn\\’t he picking up and why wasn\\’t he answering the phone, the text messages? All I wanted to be told was that it was going to be ok to miss the showing. On my own, I could barely make the decision.<\/p>\n
I arrived at 7:22 pm swinging into the last spot on 4th street and Mission Street. And then I rushed over…on the way thinking…maybe this was a bad idea. And I called and called. No answer. Until I was stopped by myself at the theater. I just oculdn\\’t bring myself to see the movie alone, 20 minutes late. It seemed silly so I slunked back downstairs to the first floor where I was in a crying mode, because I didn\\’t know what to do. I was hungry, but I didn\\’t know what to do. Hunger felt expensive and this was supposed to be a frugal night where hunger was replaced by the movie hunger. And I was unhappy. And chris was still not answering his phone. I looked at the crepe place and scanned the ice cream by the cupcakery. I looked at everything in the food court but I wanted to stomp and be angry…the fact that she didn\\’t pay attention to the email, which was said so explicitly. And that I repeated it. And it was making me furious by the moment. The irresponsiblity. Then how Chris wouldn\\’t answer. How there just wasn\\’t enough information and I was angry at everything. I almost wanted to jump off a building because it was overwhelming.<\/p>\n
But finally chris texted back…but at slow itnervals. He could tell that Iw as up to no good…some distressing moment. And he said don\\’t worry you can get another ticket. Dismayed when I tried at the box office, I was sullen and finally ordered beef noodle soup which soothed my nerves briefly.<\/p>\n
And that was it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The time passed and I was stricken. Parked illegally near the Palo Alto Caltrain station, I was distressed. Unhappy. And when on the phone, I realized the miscommunication, the misreading of the email…a fury flew through me. It burned through my body and as I drove away from the station, I wanted to step the … Continue reading A movie unseen, unwatched<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-543","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/543","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=543"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/543\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=543"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=543"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=543"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}