At first, it seemed ok. I appreciated the feedback. It was what I had heard previously. Then as it continued, I started wondering. How would I incorporate this in? How will I take this?<\/p>\n
I stuttered at first, wondering aloud that it would take more than 20 pieces to fully answer the questions. Then I was posed with, \\”you have to answer that question\\”<\/p>\n
which startled me, making me think, \\”Maybe then I was thinking? Maybe I was wrong?\\”<\/p>\n
Then all the feedback about copyediting. I was surprised by the critique or as they wanted to call it on the line-editing. I wasn\\’t sure if I could stop her out of respect, but maybe I should have. Why was she giving me feedback on the sentence structure? I wasn\\’t sure.<\/p>\n
And then, I thought to myself maybe I should have edited this piece more. Maybe that\\’s all I could do. I needed something.<\/p>\n
Then suddenly it cracked open when someone asked me about what I could do…and whether the feedback was intense. I was still thinking about. Whether it was something that I could do. So then all I could say was in a small voice, \\”yes\\” and I blinked as my eyes filled up. I blinked it back, but then someone noticed and called it out. So then well that\\’s when it spilled out. I gave up at that moment and just let it spill out. And I silently sobbed for the next 15 minutes when there was a break and a reading. And I excused myself saying that I had to go, had to walk, had to fresh air, had to get away.<\/p>\n
The black cloud followed me as I thought of rejection, failure. I was alone. Again. Darkness spilled. And I wanted to just drive the pain away so bad. Cliffs entered my mind. But instead, I called Chris and said, \\”Pick me up.\\”<\/p>\n
And I sat stony near the BART station sobbing hoping nobody would see. Nobody would see the poor little me wincing in unnoticeable pain.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
At first, it seemed ok. I appreciated the feedback. It was what I had heard previously. Then as it continued, I started wondering. How would I incorporate this in? How will I take this? I stuttered at first, wondering aloud that it would take more than 20 pieces to fully answer the questions. Then I … Continue reading Cracking open in writing<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/562","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=562"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/562\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=562"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=562"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=562"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}