Anyway, I guess I take things too personally.<\/p>\n
It made me cry the moment that Chris said, \\”I wish you had more confidence.\\”<\/p>\n
I mean, was it the fact that he cared or the fact that what he said was true. Am I really lacking in confidence or is it because I display that quality in the work I do? I want to leave so bad. Evidently, I carry a lot of avoidance inside. If something is uncomfortable for me, I deliberately avoid it. Sometimes to the point of avoiding the person. I would retiliate in response, making up excuses for why I want to avoid.<\/p>\n
I knew I shouldn\\’t have gone into my thoughts about leaving the Bay Area. How I thought that nobody would notice if I disappeared. I thought that was an interesting thought, not reflective of what I normally do. But then what is this.<\/p>\n
Are a lot of my problems really caused by a lack of faith in myself? I mean, for example, my problems such as involving friends. I often stage a fake confidence to get through most of my issues.<\/p>\n
The most salient problem now is of that Tanner. So I remember that I felt too needy. I was not happy that he wasn\\’t always around. That was rather annoying. Sure, high maintenance here. Well, ok. Maybe I was insecure then. Not about him seeing other people. But rather about whether he really put me as one of his top priorities.<\/p>\n
And what else. <\/p>\n
Reminder to self: tell less people about my insecurities. or better yet, tell nobody at all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Anyway, I guess I take things too personally. It made me cry the moment that Chris said, \\”I wish you had more confidence.\\” I mean, was it the fact that he cared or the fact that what he said was true. Am I really lacking in confidence or is it because I display that quality … Continue reading words cut?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-89","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=89"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=89"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=89"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/j.unoccupied.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=89"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}