It's early in the morning now. Just a few minutes ago, my dorm neighbor ceased from a vicious phone call. His voice echoed from his room into my room through the window in the airy night.

Lately, I have been re-considering the worth of a social status. Maybe I think too much. Yes, of course. I remember reading in my AP Bio book last year that humans are a gregarious species. Too bad that loners in society are always regarded as the strange ones. Unlike the cheetah, we can never skulk the land on our own. Otherwise we would be termed the Unabomber.
I have always wanted one of those cool hoodies though.
Earlier today (or yesterday depending on your perspective), I once encountered my major personal conflict. Being forced to make conversation. Of course, it seems so trivial that I should be worried about such a minor detail. However, fulfilling expectations and that innate human desire to please everyone bothered me throughout dinner. Funny as it was, I remember watching a girl with a huge scoop of mashed potatoes on her plate. Much too huge. After I gathered my food from the miniscule selection for dorm residents, I headed straight to a two seater table intending to enjoy my meal in beautiful silence.
Unfortunately, as my luck would have it. The other innate human desire to socialize prevailed in that girl with mashed potatoes. She had walked to the other side of the dining room, but suddenly spun to my table and promptly asked, "Is this seat taken?" I could only sputter, "Uh, no." "So how are you today?" she asked. "Good..." I began thinking whether I should attempt a conversation. "How about you?"
"Fine, thank you."
I nodded and looked down at my food. I realized that I did not have a fork to cut my ham. We sat in silence for the next five minutes. Abruptly the girl as quickly as she sat down got up. "It was nice eating with you," she smiled.
I gave an ironic smile back. Yes very nice. I do love silence.

When I returned to my dorm, I realized that I had not called back a certain someone. The so-called good life was getting complicated. During the last week, I filled my veins with bitterness. The incident last Wednesday was a distant emotionless thought in my mind. Yet I still maintained my childish cold shoulder. Oh the bitterness.

If there is no will, there is no way.