They say that if you have a lemon, make lemonade. My sis and I went to the poster store finally at Sather Center and bought the yellow lemon poster that I had been looking at for days and days. I went in that store nearly five times already and this was my first time actually purchasing something. The lemon reminds me of everything I have done and not done. The simplicity...the pure color of ripeness...and the juice securely fastened inside.
If only life were that simple.

A year ago, whenever I had something to say, but I didn't know how to say it...I let a song speak for me. Oh those were the golden days. I was a naive, innocent girl.

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
but I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
until your resting here with me


I don't want to call my friends
they might wake me from this dream
and I can't leave this bed
risk forgetting all that's been


I remember when I was about 13 years old, an age that meant strength, yet I constantly felt too much. Whenever I saw a little kid cry, I'll crumble inside for no logical reason at all. It's the curse of the Id. And today, sitting alone eating a meager lunch in Ramona's Cafe, I almost neared my usual weeping. The silent weeping that only people close to me notice. It's the kind that people take that they have pained me in some way...but no, it's not that at all. A few years ago, I had concluded that perhaps I was weeping for the world. Yet now, I weep because life is simply a majestic rollercoaster of twists and turns.
To those who are cynical out there: a big TSK for you!

My younger sister is sleeping in my bed right now. It's interesting how her eyes are not fully closed. Through small slits, I can see a hint of the eye...almost like a window into darkness.

Well it's too late to class this entry October 27's. The second time I have missed a scribble completely. :p

My concluding thoughts (since I have basically rambled the whole time):
I don't like my sister's music.
Popcorn makes my hands greasy.
Dances suck.
The same goes for parties.
Sleep is good.

"Move on, but always remember the past." <--a basic summary of everything Alan said to me during my September distress. All my strength goes to you, Alan.