Okay, screw it. I can't be moping around this entire month. If I was watching myself from afar, I would be silently hoping that I'd get my senses and get what I want. I have ambition right?

When I was young, everything was anxiety-causing. I would never speak up, because I was afraid of judgement. In preschool, if I was asked to sing, I would shake my head in silent anxiety...trying to get back into the crowd of psuedo-innocent faces. If I wanted something, I would go the passive route. Remember the Heather incident.

I admire those who don't care what others of them of them. Yet, their lack of restraint often causes others to be hurt along the way. But then...who cares about them? We are supposed to...that's why we're all so inhibited.
But I feel so inhibited. Okay, yeah, some people are pretty perceptive of what this caused this bantering. Sincerity will get me through.

Don't you hate it when people say, "The worst thing that can happen is that they say no."

That is the worst thing. Then again, I have nothing else to lose. Well, I might gain pain, but I will lose the need to regret something that I never did.