"You're still my friend," he said.
He was long gone when I finally read that. Right. And what be the definition of a friend?

I am still in constant turmoil about going home on the weekends. Yesterday, a Friday night, Kia asked me if I was going to go anywhere. Surprised I said no. Hadn't she observed that I rarely went out Fridays? And even late on Fridays? Then I remembered Catherine asking me before the CSA karaoke contest whether I was doing anything afterwards. I had replied with a defiant no. "But it's a friday night!"
That nearly bought me tears, but then what else could.

I realized I just missed SNL again. What's up with this.

Earlier today...or yesterday, I had a discussion with my mother on me coming home on the weekends. Last weekend confirmed that I was truly unaccepted in the household. Yet was it me...or was it them. She complained that I treated the house like a hotel. However, I argued that I can't treat the house like a hotel. Yes it was true that I slept a lot when I was at home. However, that's not what hotels are for. The definition of a hotel is a place of temporary lodging. And yet clearly, temporary lodging was not in effect at home. Hotels also mean that somebody cleans up...somebody makes meals. I liked to keep my room in its usual state--an organized messy state. Yet simply by trying to make things in my room neat and orderly, my mother defeated the definition of a home. My place, my space. Where did the morality of intrusion of personal space go? I keep to my space and I keep out of your space.

It's funny though...the last two Saturday evenings have been the most joyous Saturdays of my year. These were the times where I just truly enjoyed being alive, as the fictional Connie would put it. Laughing so hard at something that was completely unfathomable. Today was Janania's birthday--a German exchange student that my sister and Lydia had befriended. I met her earlier in Lydia's birthday party. My sister wanted me to go with her to a restaurant at Claim Jumper. And so I went.
It was funny though. Dan actually dropped by. I could get a sense that he really showed up quite often. Almost everybody knew who he was. "It's Dan! Doreen's boyfriend!!"
Although we ditched Janinia a little too long, my sis and I went over to Fruddruckers to say hi to Mike, Rob, and Jon. This was my first time meeting Jon in person. He was the cell phone guy. The guy with the Nokia phone plastered to his head in a black and white picture for his photography class. Can we say hypocrisy here? Last time I checked, cell phones are now allowed in public k-12 institutions. Oh it's funny too by the way, last Thursday, a Nokia (the distinct ringing sound) went off during a video. Most of the class turned toward the source of the sound. Professor Robinson began digging through her bag. Right. Cell phones off in class. Right. At the restaurant, Jon seemed quiet. Okay, first impressions. Hmm...I yapped with Rob a little. Joking mostly about the prospect that D&D were alone together at last downstairs.
Later on though...the GUYS insane as they were...wanted to show Priscilla (who had came out with me to get Janinia's present) and me...something. As we passed the corner of the building...Rob motioned slightly toward the left. True insanity.

It was weird being the oldest of the group. Most people were high school juniors. Janinia and my sis were the only seniors. During dinner, I mostly chatted with Priscilla and occasionally Jessica. Jessica looked somewhat familiar...her hair was cut short. She finished the calm chowder that I was unable to finish.
My sis and I finally returned home a little before midnight. Our parents fortunately were asleep. The house was dark. We had spent a little under a hour at Janinia's host family's house. I learned how to glow stick twirl. Although now...I forgot the moves...again.

My sis fell asleep on my bed until I woke her up at 3:30 in the morning. I sat in front of the computer for nearly three hours. And my energy fades.