Sigh, by the time I ever get to the "add entry" page, my previous ranting ideas have disappeared. Sadly today, after the berkeley network went down and after the ohhello network went down...empty head right now. :p

In the sixth grade, I remember admiring Emily Watt who walked into the library during my English class and sat down by herself without looking for someone to sit with. The courage (or so I thought) she exhibited was something that I wanted to acquire. However, now I realize that can be percieved as snobbiness. But then...it can percieved as pitiful. For the last week straight, I have eaten my meals in the DC alone. I sort of enjoy it now. I can choose when I want to eat. I don't need to use my energy to keep the meal conversation going. Furthermore, I can display my worst table manners and most likely nobody would care.
Also too, I have been avoiding some DCs at particular units, simply because of my discomfort seeing someone I know...and getting a guilt trip that I must sit with them...just because I know them. Yes, foolish thoughts, but those are the thoughts that haunt me every day, and especially throughout high school when I was trying to determine the way I was supposed to act. Fortunately, the terror is all over. Beauty of life is just beginning.

Anxiety, worry, and guilt plague me.
#1 The desire to visit Alan later this month
#2 My dad upset over the controversy over the roll of film. Hmmm...
#3 No socks.
#4 Must find Christmas Present(s)
#5 Huge English paper due Thursday (note its position in the list; how often do academics really take priority in my life?)
#6 Messy side of the room
#7 Unintentionally starving myself
#8 No candy.
#9 Cs final
#10 Psych final