Okay, so I was irritated.

Personally, after eighteen years of sitting in morbid silence, I find it useless to go to "family" dinners anymore. My parents bring my sister and me every other weekend to Oakland where we sit like outlandish Chinese Americans in a Chinese restaurant. Not that I hold a grudge. My grandparents with the exception of my mom's mom rarely speak to us. When in sudden hyper energy, I speak to them in understandable Spanish, they refuse to respond. Or maybe they don't hear me. Hopefully, that phrase--children are meant to be seen, not heard--does not apply today. Then throughout the dinner (or dim sum), my sister and I, despite our age, play with the sauce, roll up napkins to toss at each other, and run around the restaurant as it were our playground.
Yes, it's quite useless for me to go tonight.

Then personally, the question remains. Does everybody else want me there? Am I a person that is meant to be seen? Or am I person supposed to be there because I am "family" although I feel absolutely no connection with my relatives? Am I even a valuable addition to the dinner table?
Oh puuuuuleease, don't take me for granted.

That was the dilemma. My dad decided to call me at 8:30 in the morning to ask. Then my sister asked me again later. Then I called my mom to ask that question again--what do you want? And in response, she asked me I ask you, what do you want? Of course, I have illustrated how I dislike attending "family" dinners but the burden of any such disappointment can turn my dislike into a I-am-just-doing-this-because-of-you. Yet in the end, I relented. Having a class that ends at 6:30 pm, a restaurant reservation at 6:00 pm, the old people who have stomachs that are accustomed to early dinners...
Well, that settles it.

I'll have dinner with Bex and Catherine.

Sometimes you gotta wonder why I elaborate over such trivial matters. Although they are very inane, they block my mind that I can barely think anymore. Yes, I am doomed for a nervous breakdown every few weeks.

On the brighter side of my life...well, psuedo-bright. It's raining right now. Didn't do too well on my first math quiz (agh, negative signs are evil). Counting aloud the notes in music is difficult in groups, but not when you're alone (although I am not saying that I will get up in front of the class and dictate it aloud). I got into my music class after one week of waiting-list anticipation. Chili is good in wet weather. Saltine crackers are not. When you take the time to check your math homework with someone, you can fix a lot of mistakes. It's still raining.

Oh and happy anniversary, Alan. :)