When I stepped on the gas pedal today onto the 24, I suddenly realized how far I have come. One year ago, I had been dreaming of the person I wanted to be. Even at that time, I had a small taste of the person I was to become. Yet, there were so many setbacks. Too many.

Last year, the definition of friendship had worn down to its tattered threads. Friendship, to me, seemed like a trophy. In high school, the number of friends determined popularity--acceptance into the social hierarchy. Despite its loserdomness, I wanted like everybody else to be on the top--the top of the social hierarchy.

Well, and so perspectives changed.

And yet, I keep feeling a tinge of loneliness. I feel it every day right before I go to bed. Occasionally, I can feel it tearing my vulnerable heart. Again. Most days, I am strong enough to believe and hope.

There was an instance during my junior year in high school that I nearly went into a nervous breakdown when I realized how unconventional my social life was. I don't know why I was obsessed. Was it simply loneliness or was it the desire to be somebody else? So yeah.

I found myself in Danville in the late afternoon. Well, bittersweetness was still there. Now, why am I thinking about the past again? I dropped off Doreen at Dan's house and drove to Steve's gated community. Personally, I prefer not to speak to strangers. Eeeesh, but I got a parking permit. A nifty orange too. I helped Steve a bit with his speech, but somehow I got wrapped up in a passionate spiel of how the society was becoming superficial. And indeed, it is. Then Steve "raced" me to Rob's house and to Jon's house. Note to Stve: I do not race. At Jon's house, I attempted to play Smash Brothers. Yes, Mike, I jumped around a lot. I was Jigglypuff and Pikachu. I died many times in succession. I pikachuuuuuuuuuuuued everybody, but I don't know how I did it, except that I pressed B rapidly.
The first thing that my sister asked me when she stepped into Jon's house was, "Don't you feel alienated?"
Jon's laugh is cool. Mike's perfume isn't. Jon had a huge jar of cheeries in his refrigerator. Now I know what to do.