Yesterday night (or today at 1:30 am in the morning), I got inspired by Catherine's desire to write a psuedo-autobiography. Or perhaps, that was the push that I needed to start writing about myself again. :) Yet, haven't I been writing about myself for awhile? I haven't written a fictional story for the longest time.

To organize myself, I have the tendency to list out everything. Unfortunately, I am not completely aware of the list's repercussions. However, I don't care anyway.

One year ago, I was just bursting of the shell called social anxiety. It seemed to be a relief to actually take a breath of fresh air. Before, the hole in the shell had only exposed me to a cruel, unusual world. That was high school.

And so, I start my rant about the awkward fascination. I used to be flattered when people had that weird fascination about me. It was always along the lines of "your words are so deep" or "you speak so lyrically". What?! Then again, that was all online. I prefer immaturity now.

First, there was Jesse. Jesse Tolliver. Or perhaps it was Anthony James Wu. Or perhaps it was that guy from Walnut Creek. Andrew Katz? I don't clearly remember. Intellectual opinions amused them for a short while. I hope all of them are having a nice life.

MSN messenger had popped up when I was cleaning out my hotmail account. Dang's name had popped up. Ouch. I guess now that I do have reason for feeling guilty. It was last year around the time when I was on my rampnant search for senior ball date when I said to Dang, "screw you". To laugh and go tsk.

Oh and there was Toto. Someone that I had dragged out on the limb and well...using my words...sorta abused. He was touchy feely and I had the tendency to keep these touchy feely stuff inside. I must admit that I was highly flattered when he wrote the "love and confusion" poem for me. To say the least, I made him more confused than anything else. Hope that he finds the yellow brick road soon enough.

Then there was Aric. It was my brutality that made him seek a better life. I guess that's a good thing. Aric was the closest "relationship" I had before I ever met him.

It has to be more appropriate to actually write the full-length version of my thoughts. Yes. :)