I had a mid-nineteenth year crisis today. After mopping the floor, cleaning the toilet, cleaning the sinks (kitchen and bathroom), I laid back on my bed and started wondering if I am living the life that I always wanted to live...or if I was even close. I chose to major in computer science, after being heavily influenced by him. Unfortunately, I am easily swayed by influences. When I was young, I never dreamt of working in the sciences. It was always some form of expression. At the age of five, I wanted to be a singer. And must I say...I did sound horrible. But that's a child's dream. Then I wanted to be an author. Slapping fiction across the bookstacks...making minds question life. And even a journalist. Then middle school came along...and there I was back in the traditional Chinese field. A genetist. A pathologist (after reading Michael Crichton's A Case Of Need, I was intrigued by the fact that a pathologist would never have to deal with a living patient). Oh and there was a time that I wanted to be a flight attendant. I guess...I'll never become one.
Nonetheless, I keep finding myself enjoying expressing myself in some form or another. I looked at my computer science project today and gave it a disgusted look. It was that...that started my crisis. Will I actually enjoy programming for the rest of my life? I do enjoy the organization that lies in the code. How three lines of code can be so powerful... Then again, is it my urge to create the pulling force in my life?

If when I lay the camera down and see the last sun rays burst above the horizon...