The emotional torment has been winding down for the past few days. Yesterday, I got all huffy for approximately 30 minutes until Becky was able to calm me down. Surprisingly, she only distracted me...by talking about my party on Saturday.

Speaking of which, Berkeley people have this tendency to believe that college is meant for educational purposes. I must admit that is what the definition of college really is... An education institution. I don't remember why my blood started boiling when Tram had commented a few weeks ago, "I am too busy. I need to study."
Oddly enough, the people that I know who have studied every day end up more miserable than they were before. That's one way of having no life...and having no fun. Then I remember getting all testy and said right there and then that if I hadn't attempted to see her this semester, that she wouldn't be my friend anyway. Which is true. I have always felt too dominant in our friendship. Perhaps, I never take the time to slow down and reflect. I met Tram two summers ago in Laney. She was impressed with my writing. And it just happened that she was in the Extension. Three days every week, I would walk the twenty minutes from my dorm to the Extension buildings to sit outside her calculus class and wait for her to finish. Then we would eat lunch. Then I would walk the twenty minutes back. I feel like I am bitter.

My dad surprised me when he said to me, "I regret not having a social life during my college years." That was probably during my senior year in high school. It is obvious that he was one of those nerds (yes with a pocket protector) that stayed inside his room all day and all night, studying. Some of my friends are just like that. However, I guess they have a reason to be here...after overcoming so many challenges. And also especially, since their entire family income is devoted to their college education. And especially the fact that some of them may be the first in the family to attend college. Pressure, yes. But maybe I am narrow-minded. I came to college to find myself. To become a better person.

But I am studying, simply because everyone is doing it.