I was so miserable last night. If I disappeared, would anybody care? Then I thought about one thing. My roommates probably wouldn't care. I didn't add to their college life. In fact, I rarely converse with them. Perhaps, they would be glad if I had left this apartment or...just disappeared from the face of this earth. Just one more little mistake brought my entire day down. My sis was the only one who could calm me down. If I had told other people about my problems, I think I would have scared them away. And I definitely don't want a "that's so trivial, why are you worrying about that?!" I don't know if I was calling for attention or what. Ironically, I hate being the center of attention, but yet that's what I always crave for.
Emily got mad at me for something I said. I didn't even realize people's judgement of her was so important to her. Not that she would have made the greatest friend to me. I remember asking her about Alex during my first indecisive phase. "Just don't do it!!!" she had told me. Sorta like Julie. Especially what she said in the msn community -- "why did you do it in the first place?" No risks. No chances. No discovery. No learning.

Gotta applaud Alex though.
Memories always last forever. The sun is shining now. The rays peer through the clear cellophane, creating an eerie, but tranquil scene on the desk. Then the red ribbon that I tied carefully serves as a reminder of what once was.