So the first thing that comes to mind, "Who needs them?" Then second thing that comes to mind, "Why do they need me? Why should I matter?"
I mean, it's obviously a major effect from the Alan syndrome. He told me that he didn't need to talk to me anymore. That he had other friends. Perhaps, that's what making up my philosophy. Specifically, they don't need me. They have other people. I am just one person...one number in the statistic. Why should I matter?
Then comes to the most important question. Is it not unfair that there so many people in the world that we could care less about...why should I be singled out? We don't know if the stranger sitting next to us in class is feeling bad. If she has a frown on her face, we don't ask. We don't want to be intrusive. We don't want to be annoying. So we keep quiet. And even then, we would force ourselves to keep a smile on our face, because we believe that nobody else would understand. If they do ask, we're surprised. We just nod our head...and say that we're alright. Oh yeah and just like someone said, "We don't want to make others feel bad." Right. So why should I matter?

I was about convinced this morning that if I disappeared off the face of this earth, nobody would notice. Wouldn't it be better that way? I wouldn't inflict any pain...so I wouldn't hurt anybody. No more annoyances. No more irritations. For that matter, if people exist purely for bringing some joy to other people's life...then I have no point of existence if this morning's theory is proven true. GAWD, why do people have to care about my life so much? Nonetheless, I talked to one of my friends about it. He convinced me that I was worth something. At least a penny. Spending most of my early afternoon with him did make me feel better.

Sometimes though, I think friend is a f-word. It cajoles you. It pains you. If someone upsets you so much, why should that someone be considered a friend anymore? If I could work through the upset, wouldn't it just escalate it? But then it's all about compromises. Whatever. F-R-I-E-N-D.

And look, you never promised anything in an im. You "promised" in person.