I really don't know how it started. It could have been about two weeks ago when I was dragged out of my apartment to confess what I did not know. It could have been earlier this week when I suddenly realized that some people don't like me going out of my way for them. Or simply, it could have been the fact that I have taken out the trash for three weeks in a row.

Thoughtfulness. It's supposed to be a benefit. If one is not thoughtful, well...it's not a horrible thing. Rather, it's social standards that makes a person thoughtful.
Sometimes I get too anxious of being thoughtful...thinking that I would appear too thoughtful, so I am not thoughtful at all. Haha, yes confusing. Overeagerness scares some people.

It bothers me now a lot that I go out of my way for some people. It's like...my eyes have been opened. If someone asked me a question (knowing that they have come to a dead end themselves), I would attempt to answer it...search for resources...and return with an answer. If I don't have an answer, I would refer them to a source with a likely answer. People never do that for me. Then there are the times that I take the great trips just to visit someone. That particular situation bothers me. "I'll go visit you!" says one. My imagination could only ponder, because it probably won't ever happen. Nobody has that kind of determination nowadays. Then there's the incident that I always comes back to haunt me.
Awards ceremony where a limited amount of students were invited. Yes, I was one of those honored. Somehow the organizers forgot to count enough chairs for every student. I had arrived early enough to get a good seat in the student section. Then people started bantering. Eventually, I saw that someone didn't have a seat. So I got up and gave it up. I refused to sit down out of disgust for my high school. Thoughtfulness? Protest? I am not sure.

Last year, Hien told me over and over again that once someone does a favor for you, you're indebted to that someone for life.