No, everything is getting better. :)

Yesterday night, I was feeling a tinge of misery. Then suddenly, I felt better after letting steaming water wash over me. Interesting how water can be so symbolic. I still sternly believe that if I hadn't left some brutal aspects of my life behind, I would be unhappy.

C msged me over ICQ again...doing the usual meaningless conversation. Suddenly, he wanted to tell me something important. At first, I was thinking that he wanted to pursue some deal with me. I was about to respond that I personally don't get along with people older than me...especially a guy 10 years older than me. And furthermore, I didn't feel comfortable with him. But no, he wanted to apologize for "forgetting" the party I had invited him to in July. I had almost forgotten about that. His reason was because he would feel out of place with high school students. When I questioned that (since obviously, he was hanging out with me...and I am only one year older than the high school students), he answered that I was matured earlier than most people. That bothered me a lot. The reason that I felt uncomfortable with him was that he was awkwardly immature and stoically mature. It was boring.
Can I say that I was insulted? Our long-running joke stemmed from the Chinese New Year Banquet where we jumped high in the air whenever we saw each other...yelling each other's names. A reason for immaturity? I think not. At least he was direct. I think it would be better to be immature...at least...for the fact that we spit water at each other. Okay, ew, but you get the idea.
It was amusing to me when he asked me what webpage I was looking at. The Protagnist, I said. It's one of those domains that I really admire. He told me he was impressed. Then I told him it was made by a high-schooler.
:) I think that scared him away.

I checked my tracker (the rainbow colored rectangle below...yes you are being tracked) and discovered that someone was searching for "learn how to burp" at google.com. That person found my page through that. It referred to an entry I wrote a long time ago...about...yes..the immature guys. At the time, I wanted them to teach me how to burp the alphabet. But yeah. Stuff happens. It sucks that I find myself missing their immaturity sometimes. And yet, certain aspects of that immaturity drove me away.

Aside.
Last week, I had a dream that made me wake up in sweat. It was possibly because of the stress I felt under the cs project deadline. The world was ending. Somehow the earth had revolved...and was coming into contact with some powerful force. The powerful force had the ability to tear the sky apart...literally. the countdown had began. Scientists had determined the best area to stay safe, but there wasn't enough room for everyone on the planet. It was a little kept secret. Somehow, because of my geekiness (hah!), I was able to find the location of the hideout. I wanted my family to come along, especially my sister. My parents wanted to stand with the others...just waiting until the sky began tear apart... Just a few minutes before the sky was about to tear apart, I realized I had left something in my former home. Hopeful, I went back with my sister to get it. We began to travel back to the hideout. It was too late. The sky above us thundered with the sudden powerful dark force. And the sky was literally being torn in half. Like a ripping paper. But the rip wasn't as smooth. Shreds of the sky...like it was a large blue clouded ceiling began falling to the ground below. Screams filled the air. Fires flared.
Then I woke up.