When I first saw Jefferson my freshman year, I thought what a nerd. He didn\’t have the straight normal posture. His hair was not styled mainstream. A nerdy wardrobe? He was a teaching assistant in my first \”real\” computer science course. Not to succumb to the elektra complex, he reminded me of my dad.
So he found me through orkut. Him fascinated by the fact that we had the same last name. He\’s 3 years older.
What I did was ask him to meet me in Barnes and Noble. Second floor. Cafe. I joked that I would have a rose on the table. A symbolic book. Perhaps a MBTI book from the psychology section?
But instead I had just finished watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and I was still reeling from the motion sickness. So preparation was not completed. I headed upstairs with instructions for my sister and Lydia. They were to pretend they weren\’t associated with me. Then they would quickly snap a picture. I would give them a signal by smoothing my hair. I spotted him the moment I within sight of mini Starbucks. I stared at him with almost an amusing look. He described me having a sheepish look later.
So after the picture was taken, I felt obligated to introduce him to my sister and Lydia. Yet I realized how it probably would be uncomfortable for him to be around people he didn\’t know. Certainl 3 vs. 1 was not fair. So I pulled him away and we started our aimless walk around Walnut Creek. I had a feeling that I was going drive myself into an insane walk, similar to the one I dragged my supervisor last year (as a result of that tuesday drinking incident that almost made me quit my job). But it was ok. And somehow that walk turned into a nice 2 hourlong conversation.
But to the point, I found him too perceptive. I found myself talking about myself too much. He had an aura that was almost like Yeh. At least the dressing part. But what struck me the most was the ease that I started making insightful comments. Introspective. Prophesizing. Reflective words?
Yet unfortunately, I had read into his e-mail. Hypothesizing that his intentions were just more than…friends. I could tell he was a lovelorn guy. He wanted to be somebody. He was someone who made cheesecake for friends. Watched Friends on Thursdays. Watched Sex and the City. And how can we forget…anime. A writer. A hopeful singer.
At one point, he asked me, Why do guys fall for you?
I don\’t know. I paused and said, I suppose I make them feel important–that they are somebody. I talk too much?
Now I am always looking for someone to help me out of my tragic state of the last few months. But this person. Just isn\’t the right one. I am looking for someone that will make me leave with flushed cheeks. Just remember a moment where both of us said…just enough. So here I am knowing that I am just that picky.