When I said the words…hesistantly, \”I just want to be good friends\” I felt this wave of relief slowly settle in me.
She had asked how I saw the relationship ideally and it was that. It was that immediately popped in my mind. AT least right now, I would correct myself…trying to explain.
I don\’t think that I can deal with the negativity, the sorrow that is embedded in every moment. And most of all, the issues, the struggles he faces. I want to help him and perhaps my source of energy is all but exhausted.
And then there is Francis. I don\’t know what to do. I am captured by the chemistry. I am attracted…so visibly so. But I know there is a wuss, a coward inside me.
It\’s novelty I know. And I already know there are so many issues that I will face. But isn\’t that just me sensing too many warning signs? I am analytical, but I am pulled, already attracted. I am found. I want to just spend time with him and I am just too afraid to say it. Of rejection. And that\’s what it is.
\”Hello,\” I said suddenly appearing next to him in the back…near the standing desks.
He turned, perhaps surprised and said hello back.