Loneliness appears. Then it disappears so quickly. Social anxiety?
I don\’t see how I could have superficial relationships. It makes me still feel alone. Like my sister, it would make me feel that nobody really understood me. So it\’s like a huge vicious cycle. Those that i am close with…it\’s too intense. It\’s too much. But then there are the superficial ones and it doesn\’t provide me with much.
Black and white?
So back at the beginning?
This morning, my roommate woke up at 6:30 am. It woke me up as she did some stuff in the kitchen. Cooking and the like. I was pissed off but I just put my blanket over my head. I am never going to live in the living room again. When we first moved in, she asked if I was sure that i wanted to be next to the kitchen because it would bother me when I study. Quite the contrary. I am accustomed to noise when I study. However, I like complete silence when I sleep. Everything wakes me up nowadays. Worse yet, allergies.
Yesterday, I barely ate anything. Out of excitement maybe? And as a result, i starved throughout the day when I couldn\’t get to a restaurant or anything. As usual.