I am resentful. I am also distraught. I am unhappy with the way things turned out.
Thinking back, was there anyway that the relationship with Tanner could have been better? Is it best the way it is? No contact whatsoever?
I hated how our last phone call ended with him saying, \”I\’ll call you later.\” That\’s a fake promise. I believed him when he said that, thinking he would actually have some ambition to call me. But fake promises are completely fake. They are said just to give a superficial goodbye. At the moment of goodbye, he has disconnected the way idiot partygoers disconnect with girls they talked with for 10 minutes. \”I\’ll call you later.\” It doesn\’t mean a single thing except the ability to be nice.
[spoilers of SEX AND THE CITY ahead!]
The last episode of Sex and the City almost shook me to the core. He couldn\’t spend that much time with Carrie, because of his exhibit. On days he was supposed to spend time with her, he would suddenly get a call from the museum, asking him to go. She spent the days in Paris alone, eating pasteries and stepping in dog poo. I suddenly related with Carrie when she ended her relationship with Aleks out of frustration. \”I am a person in this relationship too!\” I am a person. I am a human being. I am someone…
[/end spoiler]
That was when I realized that I wasn\’t alone in wanting so much more. I wanted to have someone to truly \”live with me\”. Someone who obviously didn\’t take me for granted. I had the right to demand his presence even if digital at least once a day. I thought I wasn\’t high-maintenance, but apparently I am. Maybe this would be a warning to those future potentials.
Warning: high maintenance ahead. You need to care for her at least once a day. Not too much that she would suffocate. You cannot disappear off the face of the earth without warning. If you go to sleep because you\’re tired without saying hi at all, then you\’re a very stupid boy aka you only care what\’s good for you instead of the people around you. You can give flowers, but not too much because flowers die. You don\’t need to show constant affection, but you can at least try to make her laugh once a day. And most of all, if she\’s important to you, then show her how important she is to you. If she\’s important, then you will always find a way to make time for her.
Of course, unless she doesn\’t like you. Then please…stay away.