I have major insecurity because…
in pictures (taken by good digital cameras)
my teeth comes out all yellow.
And also, I am easily embarassed by things I said that were…faux pas. At the bbq for rescomp a few weeks ago, when asked what advice I should give to next year\’s RCCs…nothing came to mind. I was supposed to be all funny and theoretical. Instead I said, Avoid Bowles. You can always ask them to come to the computing center later. The moment I said it, I realized how negative I sounded. Later I heard Jason muttering how Bowles isn\’t that bad since he lived there. Maybe I should have reversed it, saying Bowles isn\’t as bad you think it is. But it was tough to come up with something on the spot.
My confidence is so easily crushed.
Today I came across my graduate student\’s website. There were several links to his material for faculty application. Yet, earlier I asked him whether he was going for postdoc or faculty. What a stupid question, but I wasn\’t sure. Didn\’t it make me look like a fool?
I worry all the time that I am being annoying, but this worry just compounds me into an insecure piece of mush.