I talked to Guy on Sunday online. And it made me feel…so…I just don\’t know. I always try too hard maybe.
Talking to him made me tired, but I kept going. He kept talking. Talking. Not always about something that I liked talking about. It seemed like he talked about himself and what he thought. I could imagine him saying the things he said to me in person. It isn\’t enough, you know.
Last week, I could tell that he was a natural introvert. It was that obvious. When Guy stood in front of the class to present his piece for design, his face turned…socially anxious. Like he was afraid of standing up there. Slightly different. A posture that was radically different from when he was relaxed just talking to us students in a casual way. I knew right then that I could relate with him.
But then online, it seemed like we were on different platforms. I was losing my energy the more I talked to him. And as always, I let the conversation slip into my weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Things that I didn\’t want to talk about. And it got worse from there. I came out of it feeling…miffed. Slightly insulted, but it was all my doing. My fault. I let it go that way.