Hey,
whatever it was that made us stop talking, I\’m sorry it happened. I
guess I was just frustrated because I couldn\’t do anything as a
friend, but now I know it wasn\’t my place to pass judgement on you.
Just one of those things that I think I don\’t do, but innately do, and
blah blah. I hope you\’re doing well at Carnegie
Meow Cat
Don\’t you remember? That is exactly why we stopped talking. More than a year ago, I was very upset…depressed about Tanner. There were times that I would find myself crying because he didn\’t call me. And that he didn\’t care. Last year, he didn\’t even call me during Thanksgiving or Christmas. He tried on New Year\’s, but whatever. He did it a few days ahead, because he was going to be \”busy\”. Like, that\’s not cool. If I was so special to him, why didn\’t he treat me that way.
Well hey I hate being taken for granted. Anyway, I think that\’s why Cat got so angry…and frustrated. At herself? And that she didn\’t appreciate me journaling about my moodiness. It was her comment that ultimately drove me to close down my livejournal. Simply because people don\’t respect how my journal is my space. My journal is where I can write my deep thoughts and pained emotions (and hopefully without google finding it). And I disapproved of the fact that she thought I didn\’t have a right to be sad, that I was constantly self-deprecating. She thought I was a hypocrite, because I appear so happy when talking to her, but so moody and depressing in my journal. Grrr. I suppose I am still bitter. Forgiveness is a hard thing for me to sincerely give. I can insincerely give it…I can insincerely hand it out, but who wants a hidden grudge? I would rather voice my opinions.