Was Jeff really a possible interest?
Highly likely. He\’s just so…hard to see through. So I don\’t really want to try. I don\’t want to analyze his reasons for comings and goings. Just say what\’s on your mind, gosh darn it. Just do it. Stop giving me that weird, i amconfused look.
Even though we could be alike based on our background, we certainly don\’t complement. No wonder my sister got a weird vibe from him. He\’s older, does sometimes act younger, but it doesn\’t work out that way. He asks the wrong questions, inquires at the wrong time, have the wrong interests. Maybe a lack of social charisma.
Anyway, today I hated being in the social situations. For some reason, I felt incredibly awkward and uncomfortable with everything. I just didn\’t want to be there. I wanted to leave. I wanted to be alone. In my room. But I seek safety. Safety from pain.
And at times, I wonder if I miss what I held instinctively with Crisco. Did he and I really click that much? I don\’t even know. I just remember that at the end of our \”friendship\”, we barely made conversation. That was one of the main reasons of just cutting it off. He didn\’t try, so why should I?