What happened to me. Why did I do a sudden switch?
Why did I suddenly go from being the understanding great one…to the mean inconsiderate rude one. Somehow I knew it was going to happen. A self fulfilling prophecy. As I always do, I admitted that I had problems retaining long-term friendships. And he said, \”Oh you probably won\’t speak to me in several months.\”
I just laughed and said, \”Noooo, I think I have changed my ways and I\’ll stick around. I am sure of it.\”
He gave me a doubtful look and said, \”I think you will.\”
I said nothing, because I wasn\’t that certain of the future.
And so here we lie. I am pissed off that he doesn\’t want to fix things. So let things stand right?
Earlier today, Shipra asked me to go to dinner with her. Pizza. I was in the process of trying to convince myself to go with them…when suddenly Jeff walked in and asked, \”Where should I read? Should I read here?\”
Suddenly all those feelings of irritation spread through me and really without thinking, I said, \”You shouldn\’t read here. You should read next door.\”
I don\’t know whether it was because he sense my displeasure, but then he said, \”Oh you don\’t want me here.\”
I don\’t think I said anything, but he left the room.
I suddenly knew that I didn\’t want to go. Shipra, being the bubbly person she is, asked Jeff if he wanted to go. I felt this rush of spite through me and was convinced that I would not go. A few minutes later, as they were getting to leave, I declared that I wouldn\’t go. Jeff gave me this look.
They made small talk as they gathered their stuff. \”I really want to buy new clothes in New York City.\”
My irritation spread again and I looked up. And I said, \”You shouldn\’t go.\”
\”Oh is it because you don\’t want me to go?\” Jeff asked.
\”Yes,\” I replied. My voice could be sensed…dripping of spite. But it seemed almost normal.