I remember Richard Oh. He was this guy in 61b. On the very first day I met him, I immediately liked him. But at that time, I was with Alex. It was at the very beginning of my relationship with Alex…and somehow I met someone who made me feel whole like almost immediately. That day I met Richard, I felt slightly guilty that I found someone else who I loved being with. The jokes, the cracks. It felt like an unique connection.
And I did break up with Alex about 3 days later. But over small things, my doubt and the fact that I never knew exactly what I wanted.
Well right now, Justin reminds me of Richard. The look I mean. Not their personalities. Justin is nice, considerate…and yet so quiet. Not self-absorbed, but so…lonerish. And why am I so attracted to him? Because I am like that too?
I want the quiet smiles that seem to be reserved for me.