I feel so unexcited by life right now.
There\’s nothing now. I dislike the presence of so many people. As a result, I fall into my hole, hide here. I spent a lot of today just watching tv and doing my projects.
Why aren\’t the things that used to excite me…appeal to me as much?
The stress of last week has gotten to me, maybe. I am reluctant to live with Dave, because he made me cry. I am weary of his stubbornness. Despite the fact that THE HOUSEMATE is leaving, the thought of Dave living with us puts me on the edge. He\’s so undergrad-like according to Carol. And yet, it\’s more than just that. It\’s the fact that we haven\’t connected and I am going to avoid that at all costs.
I am not as excited as I used to be about blogging. I still blog as normally…but I can\’t think, I can\’t express as easily. This is something that defined me. I see people, I don\’t feel like I want to talk to them. I am weary of everyone. I am afraid. I can\’t be myself. I can\’t even remember the last time that I didn\’t feel ill at ease. I hate pretending.