I swear, why do I get stuck in these high school type fantasies?
I like someone, but I hold myself back because of circumstances. Bad for the future, will get bored of him, not to my standards…
Yet, if I never try, I won\’t know.
So I met Will in person today. Again. This time it was slightly different because we had met again after we had gotten to known each other online. And for some ridiculous reason, I had this nervousness thing going on. I wasn\’t as relaxed as I normally would have been. On edge. But despite all of this, I still liked being around him.
In the morning, I was freaking out because I thought Mina was not going to approve the party (doh). So I woke up early and was worrying suddenly that Will wasn\’t going to show. I felt depressed. And started making my lunch. I ate some of it and did some random household errands. Then suddenly my cell phone rings at noon. I blurt out, \”I thought you weren\’t coming!\”
He comes about an hour later. Around the front and he meets Ray. The first time I see him, long, lanky, a emo type look, longer hair, army type jacket. I liked the look. We go to Southside in his green honda civic. And finally end up there for brunch. It was nice.
And I don\’t know whether he felt the same way, but the little silence we had. It wasn\’t awkward, somewhat comfortable. We went dutch on the bill. And later, he drove me to the grocery store. It was pretty nice when he followed me into the house, although without offering to help. We chatted a bit…then it was done.
I don\’t know what it is about him that attracts me. I realize my own feelings too fast. Sometimes I wish I didn\’t.