I fear rejection. That is what it is.
I want to decide today that I cannot try anymore. I read signals and I think they are saying \”just friends\”.
But who is to say? Maybe it\’s his style.
I am too old for this.
But really, how do you tell someone you see so much in him? That every time you spend time with him, your worries and your anxieties completely disappear? How do you say that he was the brightest moment of your week…that when you were down, he lifted you up…just because he was himself?
From the first moment that I met him, I knew there was something special inside. Unlike other people I had met here, I found something interesting about him. He wasn\’t like everyone else. Fast forward almost 10 months and I am still in the same stage, but better.
Today, I spent an hour staring at my phone, reining in courage to call. I was being stupid. I had gotten him two Muse CDs. Eventually, I forced myself and stumbled over my words. But hey, I was able to see him in 15 minutes. I came up to his apartment…and we talked.
He loved the gift. Yet, I am not sure what\’s more after that. I guess I\’ll leave it up to him.