I am beginning to believe that I should take that route.
If I continue what I am doing now, then I would still be unhappy, unsettled. It would be horrible to just stay friends, but know that there\’s something more. Within reach. But with constraints and consequences.
I woke up today feeling horrible. Feeling regretful and needy.
I am sorry, but I love spending time with him. It may come off that I put him on a pedestal, but I am being realistic. Me. I am troubled. I don\’t know what exactly I want and in these past 2 years, I have figured out only part of the way.
I am upfront with my feelings, but I know it\’s not enough.
So I start thinking maybe he is out of my league. He wasn\’t so clear-cut. I don\’t have the same intensity as others…and it\’s not just that.
\”If I started seeing you, it would be fun…\” Then the but.
I don\’t know how I could spend time with him knowing that there\’s something more. That part hurts the most.
So I need to figure out:
is it just me? is it just him? he said that it was because he was not happy, not complete yet. Whatever he wants to believe.