A rejection or the clarification of the rejection?
He inspires me in no way that anybody can.
We were lying in his bed for awhile after playing FFXII. I wasn\’t sure what was supposed to happen…his sheets and his pillow smelled of him.
Then I started feeling dizzy, wondering if I was making a stupid choice. So I said I was leaving…and got up to leave. He followed me and said, \”Jenn, you make me sad.\”
I knew what the conversation was leading to and we went to the sofa. We talked about it. He was upset that I asked him the question at Ian\’s party last weekend, putting him on the spot. My fault. I apologized.
And well, we talked about it. I told him how he made me feel. He said that he wasn\’t ready for anything and it would be irresponsible of him. He was lonely and the like. That I just got attracted to the wrong place? Maybe.
Then he said, \”But there\’s something I want to do…\” He gave a look around the room. I pretended to be oblivious because I didn\’t want to be the one to say it, \”I watch porn! I can\’t help it. I am attracted to you, Jenn. I would want to sleep with you, but there are consequences.\”
I immediately said that it was probably a bad idea because it would get me too emotionally involved. And it would. That I would draw the line there.
I hope I didn\’t frustrate him…this must have been the third time it happened.
He hugged me several times before my 15 minute walk home. I love the way he smells. But it\’s only on the surface right.