Duran Duran sings in the background. Ordinary World.
And it reminds me of the slow times. The moments where times would stop. Halt. But really time passes always too quick and we want to ignore it.
I am caught in infatuation. I am falling too deep and I know it. I remind myself of the many mistakes I have made. The many things that caused the downfall. But then, back then, we weren\’t right for each other.
And what would make this different?
Quite often, I would lie next to him. So close that I couldn\’t see anything but his eyes. His not dark brown, but light brown. And I put my hand up, stroking his face, unshaven usually. And I often would rub my cheek against his. Rough, but a reminder of reality.
Even as much as I lose sleep, it was wonderful moments to be with him. Nobody has the same enthusiasm I know. Am I willing to sacrifice so much just for that?
I would rather be spending time with you than write this, I had written in his card. I did. I really do. Sometimes I wish I could say more.
The best $75 I ever spent he said once after getting a parking ticket. I have to remind myself that this is the beginning and the beginnings don\’t last that long.