When I think it\’s the end, it\’s not quite really. I remember the great moments. And in the list I posted before, I suddenly recall all the greater things. I woke up this morning with sadness, dreaming that I had told him that this this…I can\’t do it… In my dream, I hadn\’t cried. But I woke up feeling that I wanted to do so.
I would like to think I am not that emotionally invested. Yet with my indecisiveness, I know I am.
I remember at one of the first concerts we attended together. We were watching the band play. I was pretty happy to see them, to share an experience. It was different going with him than with say…KC.
At some point, later toward the evening, he was standing slightly behind me and put his arms around me. At first, I was surprised and stony. But how could I not eventually melt. On the way out, he held my hand…but the moment we walked outside, our hands were back to our sides. I just…didn\’t know what that was.