There is this one song—Stars\’ \”14 Forever\”.
The hit is hammered out, the audience erupts
The revolution starts in a sea of paper cups
We look behind us when you cheer for someone else
I\’m the only lover you can keep upon the shelf
I hear it in your voice, you\’re tired of the song now,
and deep inside your mind you hear a song of your own,
but keep me beside you, cause it\’s been too long now…
It\’s not even about the feelings I have when it plays. The context when I hear it, that I am around Chris, the feeling of the melody…
It\’s youthful, jubilant, a feeling of safety and comfort. The feeling that I would sacrifice everything to protect him. From the baddies.
I know where it is. I am sitting at my desk, typing at my computer while he sits in my bed behind me—whether it\’s checking sports scores, ebaying, or paypaling on the computer. I am always afraid that he will discover something horrible…something that repels him, that destroys him. I love being around him when he is happy, but when there is something that troubles him, something that worries him, I try my best but I don\’t know what to do. I would do anything to keep him happy.
And the song reminds me of that. Of how precious it can be. Because I am not strong enough to protect him from the baddies. The baddies know my weakness.