This is going to be bad.
I can feel it and I am going to falter into tears.
I saw him and I wanted his sight to go away. I wanted more. And it was clear, it wasn\’t meant to be.
And so in the back, I kept to myself. Trying to close my eyes and breathe.
But I had to be mature. I didn\’t want to be, but it was the right thing to do. So I tried my best but I suddenly had horrible anxiety. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go. It was such an urgent need.
This is…really messy. And I don\’t know why I was crying. It was not real. It\’s not real. And yet I was surprisingly too emotionally invested in something that was all in my mind. Why didn\’t I ask to be rejected before? Because I just couldn\’t.
And I was hurt. I didn\’t know what I wanted. I was upset all the same.
And here I am at home…struggling once again. I spilled tears and tomorrow…will it be this or something else? Tell me…