I remember and I regret. As I said to Matt today, I was stressed. I was emotionally stressed out. And can I blame you for taking advantage of that? Can I tell you that you used me as a pseudo-girlfriend while I floundered.
I was an addict. Convinced that I was doing the right thing. Convinced that I deserved this. Convinced that I didn\’t have to be normal. My insides tear at the very thought of what a mess I put myself through.
I want to make sure that I listen to my instincts now. I don\’t want you to happen to me again. But I do remember how I was so attracted to you and I hate hate it.
I can see myself standing, my eyes transfixed on you. My hands clasped, waiting, hoping. Useless waiting. Insufficient hopes.
Why did you take me away like this? Why did you let me be like this? Could it have ended any other way?