So many things that I just need to get out:
- I want to tell the world about that incident in March. You know: that one at the grocery store with the white guy that yelled at Chris with racist ephitets and how Chris blocked the guy’s view of me and how I was stunned into silence, worrying more about how other people would be percieving us and still feeling guilty for not doing anything because what was I supposed to do when all I had been taught was that you’re good if you’re quiet and nice and also how I don’t see any benefit for telling people at work other than eliciting sympathy so wouldn’t it be better to write an essay and have that published in a major outlet because that would get me not only sympathy but the attention I seek for writing?
- HIPAA, client-attorney privilege, and therapy confidentiality are sorely misunderstood. Just because you—the patient, the client, the whatever—tell the world, that doesn’t mean that your doctor/lawyer/therapist can tell the world. You implicitly consented to tell the world about your vaccine status, your diagnosis, your feelings about it. But they can’t tell anything. That’s what the laws have. UGH.
- I like snow. And it’s happening on my birthday! At least because we’re in Tahoe. In May!
- Every time I read a story about Asian families and all that stuff, I wonder and wonder and wonder…why do I feel different? And only a bit same? The answer always keeps running back to: the world needs more voices. You matter.
- Yesterday, Chris and I met with his therapist. I realized immediately that all the sessions were about his concussion symptoms. The energy levels, but really all about the brain not being able to process the same way as it used to. I have been grinded and grinded (or maybe coached in the better words) to think carefully about the comments given—to elicit the takeaways. Something about being aware how he is changed—he has a new normal. To support him in activities that weren’t as easy—like time management, like scheduling, like those things. That maybe I enjoy (because I am so bossy?) But I have to say…I guess maybe I shouldn’t be that surprised that he hadn’t addressed the previous stuff. Which had bothered me—just how long it took to complete big goals. Like getting married! Like getting the jobs. Like trusting me with secrets. There was part of me that was a bit afraid around being scolded for not being accommodating or having those communication issues in couples. But bah.
- And then other things. I realize now how much I do shy away from direct feedback about my behavior. Particularly at work, I won’t go out of my way to ask for it, especially if others don’t. But that’s how you get better!!!