pseudo-attachment?

What\’s happening to me? Why do I like talking to him all the time? From time to time, I tell myself that I really don\’t want this and that I should stop it. Just stop it. And the reason is because he doesn\’t fit. For some reason like that?

But is that just the cynical me talking? That nothing seems to work out for me and that I shouldn\’t let things lead to failure?

I don\’t believe in anything purely online and I already confessed all my insecurities. Why do I do that? Why let others see me so vulnerable, take off that shell? Why?

Anyway. I am so troubled by my insecurities that I go through the day wondering if I am annoying/irritating people. I wonder if people really like me or not. A lack of confidence, perhaps. I gauge people\’s reactions and adjust accordingly.

Is it better to be quiet or to speak? At least when I am quiet, people can assume that I am just being shy? Or maybe that I am too arrognant to contribute anything? But when I speak, it\’s quite literal what I say.

There are times that I walk with people to class or wherever and I make stupid jokes. Things that would amuse me, but I start worrying if I am being too obnoxious. I worry that people don\’t want to be around me, but that\’s just silly. Hi insecurity.