the feeling that we lost it

There\’s so much pressure for me to succeed. Not only am I compounded by expectations from my parents…but from others. I have the way I want to go in graduate school. The path I want to take. Yet it doesn\’t seem enough.

I have stared at my e-mail inbox, like I am waiting for a sign. A sign from the other side. A sign that everything is going to be okay.

What pains me the most are these lines:
You can\’t love anybody else until you love yourself. You can\’t make others happy if you can\’t make yourself happy.

Because those are the exact lines that I said about myself 3 years ago. I thought I was able to rid myself of this waste, but apparently I have not.

It\’s too easy to curl up in a sobbing ball and wish it was going go some other way. But is it better to walk around with a seemingly hard shell that is broken by one touch?

48 thoughts on “the feeling that we lost it”

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  26. Ah, you know the type They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, ’cause if they couldn’t, they’d have to wake up to the fact that life’s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot — and the only reason THEY can’t seem to keep up is they’re a bunch of misfits and losers — An analysis of Neo-Nazis, from The Badger comic

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  29. For rigorous teachers seized my youth, And purged its faith, and trimmed its fire, Showed me the high, white star of Truth, There bade me gaze, and there aspire. Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), Stanzas from the Grande Chartreuse

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