I am sulking right now. Everyone is on the field playing. I am here in the office, aimlessly typing, surfing the web, working on the project. I am mad.
So a few days ago. Friday. Jeff asks me if I want to go to the batting cages. I tell him no. I already didn\’t want to go and that I didn\’t really want to spend that much time with him. For some reason, I just can\’t get along with him that well. Every time I am around I am, I feel angst. I don\’t feel like being nice or friendly. I want to poke, tear apart his weaknesses. I hold my tongue.
So he presses me. \”Come on! You need practice!\”
I say no again. Firmly. I don\’t want to go.
But he keeps bothering me. Persuading me to go.
Eventually, I see this as an insult to my ability. I tell him bluntly that I am a sore loser and that I don\’t want to improve. And that at the cages, I will throw a tantrum and he doesn\’t want to be there to see it. And that I don\’t really want to improve.
He insists again, saying that it\’ll be more fun if we\’re good on the field.
I say no again. I was getting more and more irritated.
Then after a pause, I tell him that I still feel uncomfortable around him. Mostly because I had no respect for who he was.
Then silence again.
I apologized that I couldn\’t respect him and that it wasn\’t his fault. It was my fault. Me only to blame for the fact that I couldn\’t accept who he is.