For memories\’ purpose. Names included.
Yesterday, in an effort to appease my boredom, I went to Berkeley to see if there was anybody I could visit.
First, I went to Brewed Awakening to work on the chi paper. Then, I wandered around trying to see if I could visit anyone. The sad thing was…I almost really didn\’t. I had scheduled dinner with Lulu at 7, but my other friends weren\’t available. I was just tired of it all.
I wanted to see Vikas, but I got a negative vibe when I imed him. I gave up on that quite promptly. Then I called Noah who wasn\’t around. Stephanie was out with Pat. So as a result, i wandered up to Foothill where for some reason, i ran into Lillian again.
I miss how it used to be, but perhaps it\’s better that it\’s not.
We talked some until suddenly Sam called me and asked me to hang. So i diligently went down to West Berkeley. It took me awhile because Ben had called me about the chi paper and we were discussing it while I was trying to drive down. I finally arrived at Shalin\’s place far on Virginia, lost and confused.
This whole thing made me somewhat nervous. I don\’t know what it was. I hadn\’t seen Sam since May. We barely spent any time outside the house together. And furthermore, I didn\’t know how he was like socially. We were housemates, not friends. Yet, in the last few months, I could feel like we were bonding. After all, he did read all my entire blog…my entire xanga. I hate it when this happens when I get to know someone I didn\’t \”know\” before through this online world.
Will was there. But my feelings were as always. A little fearful of the awkwardness.
I stupidly spent sometime flipping through my powerbook for Lulu\’s address.
At first, I was ok with them making fun of my driving, but then when Will (who was sitting in the passenger seat-god bless his heart because he didn\’t want me driving alone…) started telling me how to drive, I just couldn\’t take it anymore. Yes, it was true that I didn\’t know where I was going, but the fact that I don\’t drive with people following people me….
Sure, I ran some yellow lights, but that wasn\’t because I did that intentionally. It was more because the light was green when I went through, but it turned yellow right as I passed. I felt criticized and demeaned. It was more because of Will.
I was irritated and in a bad mood when we finally arrived at a restaurant with Lulu. The six of us got a table and I sat across from Lulu. The entire dinner conversation consisted of the 4 guys making jokes of each other, impressions of people we knew. I felt somewhat isolated as Lulu made up meaningless conversation about rice and where I was supposed to be living.
Eventually, on the way back to the cars, I leaned toward Lulu and said underneath my breath about how I was sort of upset because they critiqued my driving. She hooked arms with me and we just ran back to my car. She declared that we needed some girltime alone. And I drove her back to her house in Rockridge. I parked and walked her to her door. Then I ran back to Sam\’s car, where they were waiting. I was surprised that they waited, giving me the sense that they probably did want to hang out with me.
Everyone else was in the car. Sam and I looked at a kitty that was crossing the road. Cuteness, he exclaimed.
We decided to go to Alabatross. The third time I have been there this year. I was still pretty mad at everyone, but my irritation finally dissipated as we played a game of darts and laughed with them as they made impressions.
Even if they kept making the Jenn-face. I can live with that, right?