That\’s me. I seek attentiion. I know I seek…to be loved.
I am naturally insecure and lack confidence in some areas. As a result, I am always seeking to be validated. I am seeking to be accepted and to be approved.
At least I am aware of that, right?
So I have had a slightly disappointing day. Firstly, the presentation for the pitch. I really tried to do my best, but I am so…instinctively awkward and shy, so I couldn\’t speak my mind as freely. Secondly, an interview. Ok, so it went ok, but seriously I am not that interested in interaction design and how could I not hide it. Thirdly, a cancellation of dinner from Ben. And then fourthly, the inability to find someone to go to dinner with. I guess it\’s my fault.
I lack sleep as a result of that final presentation. I am inherently lonely. I am having trouble managing relationships. I am dissatisfied. Yet, I know it\’s because I think too much and it hurts. Oh it always hurts.
These are times that I want to just go in a hole and hide. Curl up, curl up in a ball and wish everything would go away. Depression, is it? But I think too much.
And in these times, I seek a human connection almost right away.