This is me. I don\’t like walking into situations without knowing (in general) what to expect.
When I am surprised or shocked, I clam up. I don\’t say enough. And the regrets start piling up on what I should have, could have done.
And so it is with phone calls and instant messages. The disruptive method of communication. Who knows who would answer the other line. And in what context? Is it the right time? Should I have waited? Did I mess up? Did I not say it in the right words?
And in some way, that\’s my fear of the surgery. I am waiting until the hour where I\’ll wake up in drowsiness. My hand operated on. I don\’t know how I\’ll feel. I don\’t know what negative side effects could occur. But every day, we take risks and we don\’t keep turning back for what was.